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My blog is a random mess of stuff I find funny and sometimes if you search you'll find some OC

godbless-st-cyr:

A compilation of my favourite ‘little stories’ from tumblr.

- Part 1 || Part 2

godbless-st-cyr:

A compilation of my favourite ‘little stories’ from tumblr.

- Part 1 || Part 2

for-the-love-of-a-photographer:

50-shades-of-sassy-ymir:

johnlockinthetardiswithdestiel:

comboreversal:

puffpuffpeace:

baby baby baby 

This literally just crushed me.

I WILL NEVER MAKE ANOTHER GRUMPY CAT JOKE AS LONG AS I LIVE

mother of god, we have all done a sin

Its like an animal abuse commercial 

mixgoldenphoenix:

If you haven’t seen Jared recounting the time he thought he died, watch it. His mind is gold.

billiondollarsuperhero:

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

I ask my kids all the time if I’m going to have to cut off their arm and give them a new one and they always crack up and suddenly they’re not upset about their booboo anymore.

jessepnkman:

once i was so high that i heard a drum beat and for a good fifteen seconds i thought that the events of the movie jumanji were about to happen to me